


Sugar we're goin down

by versti_fantur



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emo AU, F/F, Jackie's kinda emo but not really, Jan's an emo, Lesbian AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 09:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24847312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/versti_fantur/pseuds/versti_fantur
Summary: “Hey, are you on MySpace?” Jan asked as the bus stopped in the school parking lot, her stomach twisting with nerves for some reason.“Yeah, I’m-,” Jackie’s gaze dropped as she blushed, “I’m MissCoxIfYou’reNaughty”“You’re serious?” Jan couldn’t help but laugh, and Jackie’s blush deepened.//Or, the 2008 emo au noone asked for
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport
Comments: 26
Kudos: 53





	1. I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having e m o n o s t a l g i a so here's this xD

It was August, 2008, and despite it being summer, the sun barely broke through the clouds outside Jan’s window, and she had to turn on her shitty desk lamp to get enough light to pencil in her thick black eyeliner beneath her lower lashes, following it up with a thick layer of mascara, the whites of her eyes a sharp contrast to the darkness surrounding them. With a small brush, she added purple eyeshadow along her eyelid crease, smiling into the mirror once she was done. She turned her head this way and that, checking it looked good from all angles, her hair already poofed and coiffed with half a can of hairspray and swept effortlessly across one eye, the dyed purple tips bright against her blonde hair (her mom wouldn’t let her dye it fully black yet). She flipped open her phone to check the time as she clipped in her fake snakebites, grabbing her bag and running downstairs as she realised how late she was. 

“Have a good day Jan!” Her mom called out to her as she opened the front door, and she yelled back a thank you as she plugged her earphones into her old iPod, flicking through until she found an old Escape the Fate album, and turned the volume way up as she ran for the school bus. She couldn’t miss it, not on the first day of her sophomore year anyway. She rounded the corner just as it pulled up to the bus stop, and she breathed a sigh of relief, slowing to a saunter to seem cool and unaffected, even if she was internally still panicking it would leave before she could get on. 

Thankfully, it didn’t, but the driver glared at her as she climbed in, and she hurried past him. The back seats were occupied by a bunch of seniors, and she ignored them, sliding into a seat somewhere around the middle, turning her music up even louder and staring out of the window, absentmindedly picking at her black nail polish. The streets were familiar, but she didn’t pay them much attention, watching the cloudy sky instead. In her bag, her phone chimed—the opening bars of Welcome to the Black Parade playing against the shouting of the people behind her. She pulled it out, smiling as a text from Jaida came through.

_hey! miss u sm! this yr wont b the samee w/o u!! gud luck!! xoxo rawr_

Jaida had moved away at the end of last year, and Jan was pissed she no longer had anyone to hang out with at school, but she still loved her friend and they’d messaged on MySpace all summer.

She tapped out a quick reply, and slid her phone away again, vaguely aware of the bus pulling to a stop again. It was too early for them to be at school already, so she turned to look back out of the window, tapping her fingers against her leg along with the beat. She saw out of the corner of her eye, a couple of people walked past her, but she ignored them, until she felt something tap on her shoulder.

“What?” She snapped as she turned around, pulling off her earphones. She assumed it was one of the boys who’d picked on her in freshman year, but all the anger died on her lips as she looked up and saw a brunette girl staring down at her instead, a mildly alarmed look in her eyes, and Jan immediately felt bad.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” she apologised, not quite able to hold the other girl’s gaze.

“It’s okay,” the girl replied, tucking her hair behind her ear, “Can I sit here?” Jan nodded, and the girl smiled gratefully as she slid into the seat beside her, only just managing to keep her balance as the bus started moving again. “I’m Jackie, by the way.”

“Jan,” she smiled a little nervously, moderately self-conscious about the loud music currently blaring out from the earphones in her lap.

“Well hi there Jan- wait, is that Escape the Fate??” Jan was a little taken aback that Jackie knew them, since her outward appearance—low rise blue jeans and a flowy red halter neck shirt—was decidedly unlike Jan’s own—black ripped skinny jeans with several shredded band tees layered over one another, a silver studded belt around her waist.

“Uh, yeah, its _dying is your latest fashion_ , do you like it?” 

Jackie nodded excitedly, and Jan offered her one of the earphone wires so she could listen too. It meant the music no longer drowned out most of the noise from the bus, but it did mean that she had to sit closer to Jackie, their arms almost touching, and Jan was _definitely_ pretending it wasn’t causing her heart to race in her chest and her palms to sweat.

They chatted a little more as the bus drove along, and Jan learnt Jackie had moved here from Toronto about a month ago, and that she had a younger sister and two dogs. Despite only talking for about 20 minutes, Jan hoped they might actually become friends.

“Hey, are you on MySpace?” Jan asked as the bus stopped in the school parking lot, her stomach twisting with nerves for some reason.

“Yeah, I’m-,” Jackie’s gaze dropped as she blushed, “I’m MissCoxIfYou’reNaughty”

“You’re serious?” Jan couldn’t help but laugh, and Jackie’s blush deepened. 

“Yeah, it was a joke with my friends back home.” She giggled, and Jackie’s stomach did a little flip.

“I’ll send you a friend request later! Who’ve you got homeroom with?” She secretly hoped they were in the same one, but her hopes were dashed as Jackie read out the name on her timetable: Ms Del Rio.

“Wait, you’re a junior? Damn it, I’m a sophomore,” she sighed as they walked inside together, and Jackie handed her back the earphone wire.

“I guess I’ll see you around, Jan,” Jackie squeezed her arm before disappearing into the crowds of students, and although Jan’s mumbled reply was lost within the chatter, Jackie’s little wave told her she’d heard.

Maybe this year was going to be better than she’d hoped.


	2. I'll stop the wole world from turning us into a monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i,,, dont know how american school or myspace works,,, oops

During homeroom, Jan had slipped her iPod into her pocket, and threaded the wire up her shirt so she could hide the earbud behind her hair. It had skipped to a My Chemical Romance track, and she scribbled the lyrics down on some paper, doodling as her teacher made the usual new school year’s announcements. Halfway through though, she realised she should’ve been paying attention, and internally panicked, trying to piece together what she could from Miss Delano’s (probably hungover) rambling. After a few minutes though, the bell interrupted, and she shoved her paper into her bag, leaving the room quickly. (Sure she wanted to seem cool and nonchalant, but punctuality was cool too, right?)

English class, Jan decided, was boring as fuck. She’d been handed a copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and despite wanting to be picked to read the part of Hermia, Gigi had been picked instead, and Jan silently glared at the back of her stupidly preppy brunette head. From then on, she’d been ignoring the play, and had alternated between writing out more lyrics onto the front page of the book, and staring out of the window, hoping it would rain (it didn’t).

As a long monologue droned on in the background, Jan’s thoughts wandered to Jackie, wondering what class she had, and whether she would actually want to talk to her again. She’d seemed like she enjoyed Jan’s company well enough, but then again, she was also Canadian, so maybe she was just being nice? She was still puzzling over her little dilemma when the girl sitting beside her—Heidi, if she remembered correctly—poked her in the side with a pen, jolting her attention back to the class.

“What? Sorry Ms Monsoon,” she apologised, blushing under her pale makeup, embarrassed to be caught not paying attention, as her teacher sighed, rolling her eyes and taking Jan’s copy of the play to flick to the right page.

“I said, can you read Lysander’s part please, Jan” Ms Monsoon repeated, and Jan perked up a little. It wasn’t the part she wanted, but it was good enough. 

~~~

The rest of Jan’s lessons passed in a similarly disinterested state; she didn’t have music _or_ drama, and she didn’t really care about the other subjects anyway, so it was a relief when the lunch bell rang. Her classroom wasn’t far from the cafeteria but she wasn’t that hungry, so instead of heading to get lunch, she turned in the opposite direction to find the library. A small voice in the back of her head told her Jackie might be looking for her, but a louder voice insisted she wouldn’t be, that Jackie would’ve found other people to hang out with. People cooler and older than she was.

As she passed through the geography hallway though, she almost walked straight into someone who had rushed out of a classroom in a hurry.

“Aah, sorry,” Jan apologised instinctively, despite it not being her fault at all, but as she looked up, she realised those dark brown eyes seemed familiar.

“Every time we talk, it starts with an apology,” Jackie laughed, looking a little flustered.

 _And every time we kiss I swear I can fly_ Jan’s brain unhelpfully suggested. Stupid songs from her stupid ‘normal’ phase. She shook her head and realised after a moment that she was giggling too.

“Uh yeah, you’re right,” she smiled, her gaze lingering on how the corners of Jackie’s eyes crinkled as she laughed. Jackie reached out and squeezed her arm again good naturedly, and Jan had to focus on not flinching at the contact, the tingles radiating from Jackie’s fingers making it difficult to concentrate on what she was saying. “Sorry, what?”

“I asked where you were going! The cafeteria is that way, isn’t it?” She pointed to where Jan had come from, her gold bangles jingling against each other softly, and Jan nodded.

“Yeah, do you wanna come and eat with me? I’ve got the new Hawthorne Heights album if you want to listen?” Jackie’s face lit up even more and Jan’s stomach did a little flip, butterflies- no, they’re not emo enough… moths!- fluttered inside of her. 

“Really? That came out a week ago! Of course I want to hear it!” Jackie grabbed Jan’s hand, and Jan silently sent a prayer out to any omnipotent band members that were listening that her palms weren’t too sweaty and wouldn’t gross Jackie out too much. “You’ve got to show me where the food is now though, I’m starving!” The metal of Jackie’s rings was cool against Jan’s warm skin, clinking against the black one Jan wore around her middle finger, and Jan focused in on it to keep her mind from buzzing into overdrive. 

“Come on, or all the fries will be gone by the time we get there,” she tugged Jackie’s arm to go faster, and they found themselves half-jogging down the hall, Jackie’s sensible pumps squeaking against the linoleum floor.

~~~

Later, as she closed the door back inside her house, Jan felt like she was floating on air. Not only had she made a friend, but Jackie liked her music too! Pushing her hair back from her forehead, where it had started to stick with the heat, she tossed her bag by the door and fixed herself a snack in the kitchen (ice cream and jam, because they’d run out of strawberry syrup) wondering how soon was too soon to message Jackie on MySpace.

Carrying her bowl of ice cream upstairs (her mom would complain about it later, but she couldn’t care less right now), she logged on to the old laptop she had on her desk. Stickers from various bands covered the lid, and she absently picked at the corner of a Blink182 one as she waited for the internet to connect and start the ludicrously slow process of opening MySpace.

She’d almost removed the sticker completely by the time the page had loaded, and she searched Jackie’s @, clicking on the first result. The profile picture was of Jackie wearing cat ears, with her hair swept sideways so it covered an eye, and biting her lip. Jan flushed pink, and hurriedly sent her a friend request, her smile widening as it was accepted almost immediately. Clicking onto her page, a MCR song started playing, and Jan opened up a text window, tiny sparkles following her cursor around.

 **xxx_LivingInMyJantasy_xxx** : Heyyy ^-^

 **MissCoxIfYoureNaughty** : Haii

 **MissCoxIfYoureNaughty** : I <3 ur @ btw

 **xxx_LivingInMyJantasy_xxx** : luv urs 2!! Itz smexy

Jan watched as it showed Jackie was typing again, and took a spoonful of her ice cream, licking her lips. Feeling a thrill and anxiety with every message Jackie sent, she couldn’t wait to see her again tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed! comments/kudos are wonderful ily <3


	3. Say you wanna chase the moon like fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayo im back! hope you enjoy this chapter uwu (thats an ironic uwu i swear)

For the first time ever, Jan was early to the bus stop. She’d set her alarm clock twenty minutes earlier than usual so she could spend as much time as possible on making sure she looked as fabulously emo as possible. (She ignored the reasons _why_ she wanted to look especially good today. Well it was more of one single reason that started with ‘J’ and ended in ‘ackie’, but, again, she was ignoring that.)

By the time her mom knocked on her bedroom door to make sure she was awake, she’d already started teasing her bangs to their optimum swooping volume, having impulsively dyed them into pink and purple coon-tails at some point just before midnight the night before. It annoyed her how her eyeliner was better on the eye her bangs covered, but it couldn’t be helped. 

It also annoyed her how, in the five minutes she spent leaning nonchalantly against a lamppost waiting for the school bus to arrive with Blink-182 blaring in her earphones, the wind completely ruined the effortless messiness of her hair, turning it into something distinctly less effortless and far messier. She sighed as the bus arrived and she climbed inside, picking at her chipped nail polish as she sat down, and kicking away the discarded trash underneath her seat. 

This time, she paid more attention as the bus trundled along, trying as hard as she could to stop her heart from racing as they neared what she assumed was Jackie’s street. Her palms were sweaty, and she wiped them on her ripped black skinny jeans as the bus stopped. From her window seat, she could see where Jackie was waiting, and before she could overthink it, she waved. A smile lit up Jackie’s face as she saw, and she immediately waved back, the sleeve of her cardigan falling down to reveal the same gold bangles she’s worn yesterday. Jan’s stomach filled with butterflies and her cheeks flushed pink, but by the time Jackie had sat down beside her and dropped her bag onto the floor, she’d managed to make it go away. 

“Whoa I love your bangs!” Jackie said as she turned towards Jan, “Purple is totally your colour!” 

“Thanks!” Jan spun her ring around her middle finger as she blushed at Jackie’s compliment. “I got that album we were talking about last night!” Well, she’d ripped it from limewire, and hopefully not downloaded any more of that dodgy stuff that’d happened last time. Jackie grinned again, and Jan found her eyes lingering on her smile far longer than she should have.

“You got it already? I haven’t heard it since they played it on MTV months ago!” Her hand brushed against Jan’s as she took the headphone wire and it took all the willpower Jan had not to shiver at the touch.

“Oh, why didn’t you download it then? Don’t you have an MP3 player?” Jan asked as she flicked through the tracks to the one Jackie had mentioned was her favourite, clicking play and turning the volume up.

“I do, but, um,” now it was Jackie’s turn to blush, and Jan immediately felt bad for having brought it up, but Jackie shook her head before she could start to apologise. “It’s my mom, she doesn’t really like me listening to this kinda music. She says it’s made to ‘corrupt teenagers’,” she laughed, a little nervously.

“So Miss Jackie is a rebel,” Jan quirked her eyebrows and teasingly poked her in the side with her elbow, “Or am I corrupting you?”

“Yes, you’ve corrupted my pure, innocent soul,” Jackie laughed, and her smile made Jan’s stomach twist, “with My Chemical Romance! How dare you Jannifer?!”

“Jannifer??” Jan nearly doubled over, struggling to breathe through her giggles. “It’s just Jan, you know!”

“I’m still gonna call you Jannifer.” Jackie winked, tossing her hair over her shoulder as it fell into her face.

“Fine then, _Jacqueline_!” 

Their mock argument continued, and by the time the bus arrived at school, neither had paid any attention to the music at all. Jackie, however, didn’t seem to be bothered, and grabbed Jan’s hand as soon as they stepped off the bus, making her break into a jog.

“Come on, I want you to meet someone!”

Jan’s smile immediately dropped, she wasn’t exactly the best at talking to strangers. Hell, she still didn’t know how she and Jackie had become friends so quickly, and she knew her luck couldn’t last in the ‘making friends’ department. Maybe she could just act really cool and whoever it was might want to be friends with her because of that? If Jackie didn’t slow down soon though, she’d have no chance of looking cool—running always made her face red and blotchy, and there was a limit to what her makeup could cover.

Mercifully, Jackie slowed to a walk as they rounded the corner to the back of the school building, and Jan could see smoke wafting upwards from behind one of the dumpsters. Jan half halted apprehensively, but Jackie squeezed her hand and pulled her forward. If Jackie liked them they couldn’t be that bad, right?

“Oh hey Jackie,” the girl’s voice was low, and she smirked as Jan looked her up and down. Her black hair was cut short, and one leg bent backwards as she leant against the brick wall, her monochrome stripy pants clinging to her legs like a second skin. A cigarette dangled between her fingers, and she breathed out another cloud of smoke as she spoke. Damnit, there was no chance Jan could pretend to be cooler than her. Though the girl _did_ have a Hatsune Miku key chain on her bag so maybe they were more similar than she’d thought.

“Hey!” Jackie grinned, “Jan this is Aidan, we went to the same debate club after school yesterday. She’s a sophomore like you!”

“Hey,” Jan said awkwardly, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets. Jackie was about to speak again when a shrill bell interrupted her.

“Shit, I’ve gotta get to homeroom, I’ll see you two later,” Jackie shot them a smile before running back inside, leaving Jan and Aidan alone.

“Who’ve you got for homeroom?” Aidan asked after a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever.

“Miss Delano, you?” Jan watched as she tossed her cigarette to the ground and stamped it out. She could still smell the smoke lingering in the air.

“Same.” Aiden followed her and they began walking inside together, and the little voice in Jan’s head told her she may have just made another friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're having a great day, ily <3

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos give me life! 
> 
> Rawr is dinosaur for ily <3


End file.
